2000 Quote Board

“When everybody gets here, we should lock the doors to keep out any unsavory characters.” -Nat & Chandra’s mom

“Hey Matt… nice balls.” -Joel

“They’re kinda small.” -Bordo

“Bordo, stay out of my ass.” -Matt

“Man, I hate it when I have a violet dick.” -Matt

“Somebody twizzle the webmonkey.” -Joe

“Nudetrek… my two hobbies together.” -Alex

“I’m a zombie. I crave brains.” -Chandra

“Luciano Pavoratti taught GYM? But… but… he’s so… FAT!” -everybody

“Show me your tits.” -Chandra

“It took Lauren an hour and a half to take the first shirt off. In three hours, she’ll be topless.” -Matt

“It’s too early in the morning to be this late at night.” -Joel

“Is it coed naked limbo dancing?” -Wee Sam

“How ’bout your momma comes over here and bends over and services all our men?” -Natalie

“I didn’t forget… I just can’t remember.” -Natalie

“I found your balls, Matt.” -Nat

“I think someone should eat your balls so it can go on the quote board.” -Chandra

“They should mine for minerals and natural resources in our asses ’cause there’s the damndest stuff up there.” -Chandra

“I eat off my feet.” -Bordo

“How did you guys just make a pan of lasagna and eat it in 45 minutes?” -Chandra
“We were hungry!” -Stephanie

“Hey! Stop groping me!” -Rumpy

“How did my leg taste, Matt?” -Rumpy

“James, don’t touch things.” -Goerger

“Good-bye Joe, nice sleeping with you.” -Bree

“Don’t throw anything superfluous in the toilet. And I mean it.” -Chandra

“Sleep is for the weak!” -Sarah B.

“Seriously, there just aren’t enough hours in the day to love your children properly.” -Chandra

“Put on your blinker! Turn, you mother-fucker!” -Bree

“The people on the road don’t knwo how to drive unless I tell them.” -Bree

“Why won’t my car move? Oh… ’cause I’m in park.” -Steve

“I want to be inside your tummy where it’s warm.” -Nat

“Whatever it is, GET IT OFF MY BED!” -Chandra

“Your destiny is to be famous in bed.” -A fortune cookie

“One of those things with a stick, dumbass.” -Chandra

“The height of Kevin Spacey in Astronomical Units is 1.13704246769×10-10 AU.”

“I ain’t shavin’ nothin’!” -Nat

“‘T*‘ is for Trivia.” -Steve
*This “T” is in reference to the T-shaped piece of chair that was obliterated over Triv Weekend.

“I would throw this at you if I didn’t have to clean it up.” -Chandra

“If I was sober, I would know this question.” -Tocher

“Alex, Tocher’s eating cat food.” -Jessa

“Nick, you have to remember her arms don’t bend both ways.” -Alex


“Will flash for answers!” -Rumpy

“My pussy eats itself.” -Kayleen

“Damn, why do you have to recycle?” -Alex

“I have an excuse to type ‘Playboy’ on here.” -Wee Sam

“I’d like to donate all my porn to charity.” -Steph

“My balls could use a shining.” -Bordo

“God, penis…” (Cowering in disgust) -Kayleen

“As it goes on we just do it harder and longer.” -Bordo

“I’m going to put my pants on. I think.” -Bree

“You’ve pissed on the ground, haven’t ya? And you don’t even put that in your mouth.” -TJ

“Her throat? You know, they’ve got porn sites for that…” -Kayleen

“Britney Spears… she’s me hero!” -Khrystina

“I’ve never been one to abuse Easy Cheese.” -Steve

“Where have you been Goeger? Can I grab your bookie?” -Steph

“I think we should stop talking so we don’t embarass ourselves.” -Joel

“You’re not a moron, Dylan. You just have big hands, so it’s harder to count.” -Chandra

“I don’t care how comfortable you are! Get your ass down here!” -Matt

“I’m not inferior, I’m drunk.” -Klaus

“Matt, did you eat Natalie’s belly button?” -Bree

“You missed my best quote.” -Bree
“What?” -Matt
“I can’t tell you. Then you’ll write it.” -Bree
It was later revealed that Bree was screaming repeatedly “Can I get a partial on Manly Magma?!?”

“I sucked Dick Clark’s cock once on a Greyhound bus.” -Natalie

“Natalie! Did you have intimate relations with Clinton, too?” -Bree

“Call them* collect.” -Beckel
*“Them” being New York City.

“I see you have a thin orange penis.” -Matt

(Banging their heads against the wall)”Oh God!… Oh God!… Oh God!…” -Steph, Bordo, & Goerger

“If we get this quesiton, I’ll convert.” -Goeger

“Breast imaging… they’ll know.” -Wee Sam

“Look, it’s limp!” -Joel

“She gave you a fake card… it’s a Q-Tip place!” -Wee Sam, on Rumpy’s phone card

“Would the church be open on Sunday?” -Rumpy, a dedicated Catholic
“They’re always open on Sunday, it’s their day.” -Wee Sam

“We will return their voodoo doll for sixteen million billion points.” -Nat

“Oh shit… my foot is in a snow bank, I have a hole in my shoe, and my fucking Christmas lights are getting wet!” -Dylan

“Get him pregnant.” -Kayleen

“Hand me that piece of trash, and I don’t mean you, Joel.” -Matt

“Warm cheese is bad.” -Rumpy

“I should probably comb my… wait, I’m wearing a bandana. Never mind.” -Matt

“Wanna play ‘Tune in Tokyo’?” -Rumpy to Matt, Matt to Aja

“I’m gonna eat it.” -Steph

“Steph, spread your legs.” -Matt

“Matt, spread your legs wider.” -Joel