“The quote board is so empty it’ll make me cry.” -Kristina
“If I had a dime for every time I heard that, I’d have, like, 30 cents.” -Sam
“Let’s put the porn book under ‘woodwork’.” -Wee Sam
“She loves failure. I can hear it in her voice.” -Wee Sam, on a phone bank lady
“Your fat white mammy’s ass is a partial!” -Wee Sam, who used this partial to answer “White Castle” correctly
“I found the ‘Power of Pussy’!” -Matt
“No, the ass pie will eat the pudding.” -Kristina
“My porn is in Wynona!” -Kayleen
“You hang out with Kayleen, don’t you.” -Sam
“If Mary Poppins is perfect, I don’t want to be perfect!” -Sam
“I only caught the part about something coming out” -Sam
“That’s a bad place to touch on me” -Goerger
“Is it a spreader? As in, spread her legs?” -Lingl
“My aunt shaves my mom’s pussy. Get it right!” -Kayleen
“Oh God, you’re gonna make me fill out forms?” -Emily
“Do you want pizza?” -damned anonymous quote
“No, we want porn!” -damned anonymous answer to the damned anonymous quote
“Who’s Jesus?” -Steph
“Chandra… Chandra Chandra… Chandra… Chandra Chandra Chandra…” Chandra the Pokemon
“She keeps it up her… her… (points up) her… Kayleen!” -Sam
“At least I’m not gay.” -Rumpy
“I feel like a dog that had its barker taken out.” -Goerger
“It’s not depressed, it’s just hungry.” -Kristina, on the stop sign by Nat & Chandra’s house
“You can touch my ass, but don’t kick me.” -Aja
“She has very incriminating pictures of my monkey.” Sam
“Give me a minute, I’ll say something stupid…” -Sam
“Get it off! Get it off! I can’t even scream!” -Kayleen
“No matter how good we suck…” -another cursed anonymous quote
“If she’s dead, that would really piss me off” Chandra, on her sister’s tardiness
“Of my God, just pull it off…” -Sam
“Can I get a partial on man sauce?” -Kayleen
“Oh no, I meant 6… 6… 6…” -Wee Sam
“This is team 34 for question number 8… Oh wait, we just got it.” -Jeff
“I have to go potty, that was hard.” -Spike
“My aunt shaved my mom’s pussy, and now I’m going home to pet it.” -Kristina
“Shooting Star 69! I like that! 69! Come on, her name is ‘Madam Hootch’!” -Sam
“No no no no no… There was definately too much penis.” -Joel
“Musical genius? Try Prince!” -Chandra
“Just stick a popsicle stick in it and dip it in chocolate.” -Chandra
“No I’m not drunk yet. See, I can still spell Perkins!” -Chandra
“I am 100% man!” -Chandra
“Oh my God, I jsut got the pussy thing…” -Sam
“My most livid fondue memory…” -Chandra
“How do you spell ‘Rassier’?” -Sam, who’s last name is Rassier
“Le’ts get naked and try that, baby” -Sam
“The wood will come.” -One of the Sarahs
“I haven’t heard a Spanish name.” -Wee SAam
“Nuh-uh. I said gonad.” -LeAnna
“Don’t touch my pussy, it’ll go purrrrrr…” -LeAnna
“Are those drinks or hobbies?” -Kristina
“What are things you don’t overhear in a bar in Jackson, Alabama?” -Joel
“Give me a randy farm hand?” -Kristina
“Do you wanna see my boobies bounce?” -Nat
“I don’t know my nuts.” -Jonathan
“Mother-fucking kenucles!” -Goerger
“Maybe cookies smell like Chandra! And when we smell ‘fresh baked cookies’, we’re really smelling ‘fresh baked Chandra’!” -Kristina
“You can scramble a walrus, why can’t you scramble a chicken?” -Kristina
“Yeah. Let’s all get naked.” Matt
“I need some rum in my Coke.” -Evelyn
“Fuck! I brought that! I rule!” -Kristina
“It’s not a question.” -Chandra
“Oh…” -Kristina
“I’m sure they’ll accept other forms of payment… like checks!” -Kristina
“My dog’s a lesbian.” -Sam
“That’s where my bra went!” -Nat